


Joy Ride Baby

by blissfall



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Gen, Post-Episode Joy Ride, Steven Can't Sleep, sad boy, self deprecation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-25
Updated: 2020-12-25
Packaged: 2021-03-10 18:35:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,328
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28301700
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blissfall/pseuds/blissfall
Summary: Steven ponders his humanity. (Set after Joy Ride)
Relationships: Buck Dewey & Steven Universe, Jenny Pizza & Steven Universe, Sour Cream & Steven Universe
Comments: 2
Kudos: 20





	Joy Ride Baby

No matter how many times he tossed and turned in his bedsheets, Steven couldn’t find a comfortable position. 

He tried sleeping in his regular spot, the middle of his pillow, but his head didn’t feel right. He tried turning to the left, but he didn’t want to face the wall so he turned to the right. 

After a few seconds of fidgeting under his blanket, he decided he was too hot so he kicked his blanket onto the floor. Then he was too cold, so he turned upside down and leaned his head off the edge of his bed. The headache he got after a few minutes became unbearable, so he sat back up and repeated the cycle. 

Sitting up in his bed propped against the wall, Steven’s head turned towards the temple door. 

In the opposite direction, the kitchen was left in a mess. Steven got hungry after all the cleaning and running around the beach gathering ship parts, so he made a sandwich. He gathered the ingredients from the fridge and splayed them out on the counter. He couldn’t decide what he wanted so he ended up eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with turkey, cheese, and mustard. 

He must’ve forgotten to put the ingredients back because when he went back into the house to wash his hands, he got hungry at the sight of the bread again. So he made another sandwich. 

Interrupted, his stomach growled again. 

Should he make another sandwich? He had breakfast. He had a snack for lunch… and two sandwiches for dinner. 

Pearl asked what he was doing, staring in horror at his creation. Steven just gave a half assed smile and shrugged, he didn’t even know what he was doing. He was just hungry. 

Ignoring his thoughts about food, a yawn crept up on Steven and he wiped away the dribbles of spit that fell on his chin. He turned again and rested his face on his pillow, letting the back of his head face the ceiling. His arms stretched out against his wrinkled blanket which was halfway on the floor again and his legs curled in, he shut his eyes. He wasn’t hoping for sleep, but he didn’t want to look at anything else right now. 

Because he couldn’t sleep, Steven decided to recall the events of the past few hours. He was sort of trapped in his mind, anyway, since he had nothing else to do. He didn’t want to risk the gems coming back and finding him still awake. His eyelids pressed against his pillow as he shut them. 

* * *

_Steven fidgets with his fingers, interlacing them together and pulling them apart as he contemplates his decision._

_He shouldn’t be messing with Peridot’s escape pod, the gems are seriously going to be mad if they find out! He’s already grounded from TV, he’s not sure how much longer he can last if another form of entertainment is taken away from him. His teeth overlap his bottom lip as he chews it._

_“Seriously, Steven! You’ve been under a lot of pressure.” Jenny says, leaning against the pod. She props her head on her fist._ **_“Don’t you think you deserve to have a little fun?”_ **

* * *

Steven truly did enjoy messing around with the cool kids. He’d been cleaning up the hand ship all morning, he barely had any time for himself. His hands hurt, his feet were sore. He wanted to disappear so he could stop worrying. Sure, he loved the gems, but he doesn’t even know if he’ll live as long as they do, what if he spends his entire life cleaning up the aftermath of gem machines?

When the opportunity to forget presented itself, Steven, although hesitantly, was thrilled to finally have fun after everything that happened. 

His black eye, Malachite, Lapis still trapped on the bottom of the ocean, Jasper, everything that happened with Connie. He really needed a break. 

When he was with Jenny, he could be himself. She didn’t mind what he did, she loved his jokes. Sour Cream was super chill and always liked to encourage him. Even Buck, who was just there, still let him do what he wanted! He was kinda glad he could be vulnerable around them, when they all sat for a moment in the pizza car and talked. When they listened to him, he wasn’t interrupted by some gem monster. 

They made him smile, they never laughed at him like Amethyst did, but they laughed with him. They didn’t interrupt everything he had to say when it wasn’t important to them like Pearl did. They appreciated him, even though he was a Crystal Gem, he could be human with the cool kids. 

Peridot’s escape pod was frightening, he had to admit. What if she was somewhere near it, what if she attacked his friends? He just wanted to protect them, he didn’t want to lose what he had. 

Whenever he tried to get rid of the worries from his mind, he just couldn’t help but decide maybe he wasn’t meant to have fun like that. 

He’s a gem, he has responsibilities. Sure, he’s young, but he wanted that, right? He just wanted to be himself. 

He was tired of always having to prove to the gems that he was worthy to keep around, and that he wasn’t annoying. 

He loved talking to Connie, she was his first real human friend. But even so, she was involved with gem stuff. She wanted to talk about the missions, and hear about all the cool gem monsters they saw recently. He tried to keep her away from it, because he got scared she'd be hurt. He didn’t want to lose her. 

Jenny, Buck, and Sour Cream were friends he could keep away from all that stuff without having to worry. They never asked, and he never told. But then they asked him to get inside the escape pod, and it turned on, and he really didn’t want to be grounded again, but he wanted to have fun. 

When was the last time he could be human? 

The missions, they scared him. He couldn’t show the gems he was scared, though, because then they’d tell him he couldn’t go with them anymore. And then they wouldn’t hang out or talk to him, and suddenly there was liquid rising in the escape pod because he just wanted more praise from the cool kids. 

It was really late, he shouldn’t have been there, why did he say yes? 

_“Don’t you think you deserve to have a little fun?”_

Of course he did! But he had too many responsibilities to worry about, and there was gonna be a long day of cleaning and ruining his hands the next day. The beach wasn’t gonna clean itself, and the gems were right! Having gem machines just laying around is dangerous. He should know better. 

But he doesn’t. Because he went into the pod knowing it wasn’t a good idea, and he was messing around with it knowing he shouldn’t have. 

He thought for a second he was gonna die, when Garnet almost punched him off the face of the earth. And it was because he was too stupid to say no. And yeah, maybe he was stupid, but he got to be a regular teenager. He got to enjoy it, he almost felt normal for once! 

In his reprieve, Steven found tears welling up above his eyelids. He didn’t mean to start crying, but stars, he was so frustrated. 

In the corner of his eye, the glint of the warp pad caught his attention. 

_The gems-?_

He jolted upwards, rearing his head in its direction only to find the perpetual silence hasn’t diminished. 

Of course they weren’t back yet, searching for Peridot was their top priority right now. He wasn’t allowed to come because he’s stupid and half human and humans need sleep. 

He stares at his alarm clock.

3:17 AM. 

There’s a long night ahead. 

**Author's Note:**

> for anyone confused, the part about the multiple sandwiches is something i pulled from my own experiences. When i dont wanna think about things i make food for no reason whether im hungry or not ajsedhfjs
> 
> I’ve had this as a wip sitting since august lmao


End file.
